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You typed "how to get rid of heartbreak" into a search engine. Like it’s ants. Like there’s a trap you can set or a spray you can buy. And honestly? That instinct isn’t wrong. Heartbreak is an infestation. It nests in your chest, wakes you at 3 AM, and contaminates everything it touches. The bad news: there’s no single product that kills it on contact. The good news: there’s a six-step treatment plan, and it actually works. Here’s how to exterminate this thing.
1. Allow Yourself to Grieve
Your first instinct will be to push through it. Stay busy. Pretend it doesn’t hurt. Power through like you’re dealing with a mild inconvenience and not the emotional equivalent of stepping on a Lego in the dark, forever.
That strategy fails every time. Grief from a relationship ending is real grief. Your brain processes it like a genuine loss (because it is one). Suppressed grief doesn’t disappear. It ferments. It comes back worse later, usually at an inconvenient moment like a work meeting or your cousin’s wedding.
So feel it. Cry. Be angry. Sit with the discomfort. If it helps, schedule it: 30 minutes of dedicated wallowing, then you get up and do something. The goal isn’t to become a permanent puddle. It’s to process instead of suppress.
2. Cut Contact with Your Ex
This is the equivalent of sealing the cracks where the pests get in. Every text, call, and social media check resets the clock on your recovery. Your brain is literally addicted to this person (fMRI studies show breakup pain activates the same regions as drug withdrawal). Every contact is another hit.
The protocol: unfollow or mute on all platforms. Delete the text thread so you’re not rereading it at 2 AM like it’s a sacred document. Tell mutual friends you need a blackout on ex-updates. If you share kids or logistics, keep communication strictly functional and brief.
The first two weeks are brutal. After that, the compulsion to check fades fast.
3. Exercise Through It
Heartbreak tanks your serotonin, endorphins, and norepinephrine. Exercise floods them back. It’s the closest thing to a chemical antidote that exists, and it’s free.
Running, lifting, swimming, cycling – anything that gets your heart rate up for 30+ minutes. It won’t fix the emotional problem. But it counteracts the worst physical symptoms: the chest tightness, the insomnia, the fog where your personality used to be. Do it even when you don’t want to. Especially then.
4. Lean on Friends and Family
Isolation is where heartbreak thrives. Like mold, it loves a dark, sealed environment.
You don’t need to rehash every detail with everyone. But spending time with people who care about you reminds your brain that one relationship ending doesn’t mean you’re alone on earth. Say yes to invitations even when you’d rather lie face-down on your couch. Make plans that physically get you out of your apartment.
One caveat: don’t turn every hangout into a therapy session. Your friends want to support you, but they have limits. If you notice eyes glazing over during the fourth retelling of what went wrong, it’s time to diversify your coping strategy.
5. Journal Your Feelings
Writing forces your brain to organize chaotic thoughts into linear sentences. That alone reduces the intensity. You stop spinning in circles and start actually processing.
Write whatever comes out. Don’t edit, don’t censor. The journal isn’t for anyone else. Dump the anger, the sadness, the embarrassing stuff you’d never say out loud. Even 10-15 minutes a day works.
Some people find it useful to write unsent letters to their ex. Get everything out, then close the notebook. Do not send it. This is critical. The unsent part is the whole point.
6. Seek Therapy
If the infestation isn’t clearing after several weeks of the above, or if it’s interfering with your ability to work, eat, or sleep, bring in a professional. You wouldn’t spend six months fighting termites with vinegar.
CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) is particularly effective for breakup recovery. It targets the thought patterns keeping you stuck: catastrophizing, idealizing the ex, spiraling into self-blame.
Even a few sessions can break the loop.
Online platforms have made this more accessible and affordable. Sliding-scale pricing exists. The barrier is lower than you think.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you heal from heartbreak fast?
There’s no overnight fix. But the fastest path is the boring one: cut contact completely, exercise daily, and let yourself grieve instead of numbing. People who do all three consistently report feeling significantly better within 4-6 weeks. People who keep texting their ex at midnight tend to report the opposite.
How do you get over somebody?
Same way you get over anything that had a hold on you. Remove the source of exposure (no contact), replace the chemical dependency (exercise, social connection), and give your brain time to rewire. The attachment fades when you stop feeding it.
What should you do when you’re heartbroken?
The six methods above, in roughly that order. Grieve first, cut contact, get moving, lean on your people, process in writing, and call in professional help if it’s not lifting. The worst thing you can do is nothing. The second worst is drunk-texting your ex.
Is heartbreak a form of trauma?
It can be. Research shows that for some people, romantic loss activates trauma-related brain regions. This is especially true for long-term relationships or those involving abuse. If your symptoms feel disproportionate to what happened, that’s not weakness. That’s neurology. And it’s a solid reason to talk to a therapist.
